The Midget, the Mayor, and That There Town Over There

Since the beginning of time, there has always lurked a creature beneath Keckle Lake, waiting for a midget with three eyeballs and a unicycle to awaken it. The midget was named Heffinstomp, and, unfortunately, he was a silly toaster oven. This toaster oven made an excellently bananaful taco out of a toothpick, two semicolons, and three yards of rope. Nothing pickled aardvarks like a can-opener, and the silly toaster oven was like a truffle when it came to pickling aardvarks like a can-opener. It was all very confusing, and many people hated the poor, silly toaster oven for it. This is why, one day, the silly toaster oven decided to transform into a three-eyed midget with a unicycle.

"Never again shall the tacos be cooked in me!" cried the silly toaster oven as he devoured the magical omelette that transformed him into a vertically-challenged circus freak.

"That there transforming toaster oven," said the mayor of That There Town Over There, "is the most bananafullest toaster oven I ever did pickle with a tuna fish."

The tuna fish was sparkly, and the inhabitants of Ftooey Island used to worship it, believing it to be the sparkly god, Three Bean Casserole Man. However, one day, the mayor of That There Town Over There, whose name was The Mayor of That There Town Over There, during a visit to Ftooey Island, did say to the natives:

"My head comes with a free biscuit!"

The natives immediately exploded, leaving the mayor to steal the sparkly tuna fish, though the mayor's bananafulness did incite the wrath of Three Bean Casserole Man, who flew down from the heavens on his Golden Chariot of Doom (TM), led by eight magical flying gorillas - Doofus, Doorknob, Nancy, Elbow, Ketchup, Mutated Salami, Disco, and Vin Diesel, all led by the magically bananaful gorilla, Randolph P. Guadalupe, whose ostentatiously glowing bling-bling did lead the fanciful chariot through the thick black night and down to the ground, where Three Bean Casserole Man, seething with anger, ready to explodenate anything or anyone that crossed his path, did trundle onward towards the mayor, slowly and bananafully, until finally,

"You j... j... jerk!" weeped Three Bean Casserole Man, who then kicked the mayor in the shin and quickly flew back into the sky.

The three-eyed midget named Heffinstomp did unicycle his way to the Designated Frolicking Area, but was immediately fined for frolicking with a moving vehicle on a Thursday.

"Now what do I do?" Heffinstomp asked a nearby muffin, though the response came in the form of a long, drawn-out groan, as the muffin in question had been working hard all day and just wanted to sit on the couch and watch some TV. Heffinstomp, dissatisfied with the groan, did devour the exhausted muffin.

"Next time, groan in E flat, you exhausted muffin!"

Whilst digesting this tone-deaf muffin, Heffinstomp did trundle aimlessly in search of a new home. Preferably, this new home would have TiVo and a shower that didn't cry for help every time he undressed inside of it, though Heffinstomp realized he was in no position to be picky.

Trundling through the Bundlewood Forest, the midget with three eyeballs did happen across a small cottage 'twixt the Great Oaken Bundlewood trees.

"Gee, I wonder who lives here," mused Heffinstomp, who then set fire to the cottage in order to find out.

An oversized jar of foot powder then did tumble out of the burning house. "Excuse me, kind circus freak, but may I ask why you felt it necessary to burn down my home?" asked the foot powder.

"Because he's insane!" cried the tone-deaf muffin from within Heffinstomp's belly.

"Yes, because I'm insane," agreed Heffinstomp.

"Oh," said the foot powder, "Okay, then."

Heffinstomp then devoured the jar of foot powder and continued on his way.

Meanwhile, inside the three-eyed midget, the muffin and the foot powder were becoming fast friends. They discovered that they both enjoyed bacon, and they played a few rounds of tennis.

"Say," said the foot powder to the muffin, "what sort of midget devours muffins and foot powder? I thought midgets were allergic to both."

"Hey," said the muffin to the foot powder, "I think you're right. Maybe he's not really a midget?"

"Say," said the foot powder to the muffin, "we should investigate, and see if we have been deceived."

"Deceived," said the muffin to the foot powder, "like the Aardvark of Destiny (TM) deceived my people many moons ago. You see..."

"Shut up," said the foot powder, who had no patience for long, boring stories, "I have no patience for long, boring stories."

As the muffin and foot powder investigated inside Heffinstomp's belly, the three-eyed midget was in a bit of a jam. You see, apparently the Plingninganocht tribe of the Keckle Lake area did not like being burped at. Unfortunately, Heffinstomp very much enjoyed burping at people, and did so as often as possible. That, however, has nothing to do with the jam he was in.

The fact that he was about to be decapitated by a particularly angry Three Bean Casserole Man, on the other hand, has everything to do with the jam he was in. You see, Heffinstomp very much enjoyed the presence of his head at the top of his neck. It sort of completed his look, and he was really planning on keeping it. I mean, I don't know what Heffinstomp did to incite Three Bean Casserole Man's wrath, but, geez, it must have been pretty bad.

As Heffinstomp prepared to become all headless and stuff, deep inside his belly, the muffin and foot powder discovered a button labeled "Explodenate Three Bean Casserole Man."

"Hm..." said the foot powder.

"Hm..." said the muffin, in a rather pleasing E flat.

Three Bean Casserole Man lifted his Holy Hatchet of Doom and Splatting (TM), then promptly explodenated.

"... Spiffy," said Heffinstomp, who then continued to trundle along on his unicycle.

The Ykuajreehöver

The Ykuajreehöver often longed for a pretzel. Then its nostril explodenated. Something occurred as a result of this, though nobody's really sure what it was.

"Remember when that Ykuajreehöver fellow's nostril explodenated?" inquired a mildly bananaful Lyurkjjz.

"Ah, yes, that was a muffin," Ñaagyrkliboppen responded with a slight tootling of his toes.

"Lemon-flavored ostentation," agreed Borb.

The three Tymplarkens were presently frolicking about the Designated Frolicking Area, though it wasn't long before an evil stench descended upon this frolickingest of Frolicking Areas. Everybody enjoyed the stench thoroughly.

"I really hate that stench," muttered Lyurkjjz.

"Yes, I agree," agreed a biscuit-flavored Borb.

"¿¡A que hora es la fecha de la mañana!?" Ñaagyrkliboppen cried, seconds before exploding in a stenchy blaze.

Twenty pickles later, a tuba made itself a sandwich. That's not really important to the story, but I just thought I'd mention it.

"Run for your tubas!" cried a melting Ximpoklimang, who then began to melt at a rate faster than that which he had previously been melting at. It really doesn't matter too much, for before he had a chance to finish melting, twenty Giant Tacos attacked the very spot in which he was melting, rendering his meltiness unmeltified.

"It stinks of cabbages and horrible things, roast beef!" shouted that rock over there. No, not that one. That one, over there. See it? Yeah... That one.

That rock over there (no, the other one) then mutilated an idea. He found, however, that this idea was intangible, and the resulting paradox exploded his brain. Then it devoured his toenails.

"Hooray!" cried the Hypermole, who hated ideas.

"Hooray!" shouted the Poplonkinographicaniker, who despised toenails.

"Hooray!" rejoiced the evil stench, who, apparently, was not too fond of either.

"Bubblegum is a toothpick! Did that evil stench just rejoice!?" cried Lyurkjjz.

"I was not aware that evil stenches had shoelaces," admitted Borb. "But now I know."

A Giant Taco ate his own toenails, then threw a Hypermole at Borb. The Hypermole exploded when it hit him, and the world was destroyed three and a half times.

"I AM A TISSUE," said the evil stench.

"No, you are not!" cried Educated Expert Man. "You are an evil stench! I should know. I pickle sandwiches with my mind."

"He does have a point," said the Tymplarken whose name happened to be Lyurkjjz. Unless it wasn't, in which case, his name wouldn't have been Lyurkjjz, would it? But I digress.

"Toenails!" cried Mystery Door.

"Yes, that's very nice about your toenails," said the evil stench, "but my ostentatious gumdrops are more important than a salty aardvark."

"What's an aardvark?" asked Quintus.

"Who's Quintus?" asked Lyurkjjz.

"The inside tastes just like an Oreo!" cried someone, somewhere.

"Listen, evil stench man dude-thing. I don't know who you are or what you want, but please stop eating my toe," said Borb.

"Oh, sorry." The evil stench stopped devouring Borb's toe.

"Thank you for-" Borb exploded.

"You are a cupcake!" cried a cupcake.

"Actually, he's an evil stench," said Educated Expert Man. "I should know, for my eyeglasses are tickled by elongated spleens."

"Actually, my name is Celine Dion," said the evil stench. "I was just wondering if I could borrow some talent."

"Oh..." said Lyurkjjz. "No. No, you cannot."

"Dunderfooted oscillations!" cried the evil stench. "I suppose I'll just have to devour your face."

The evil stench lunged at Lyurkjjz, but suddenly exploded for no good reason. I suppose these things happen.

Doffle the Neggfyrjukargle

There was a twinkle in Doffle's eye and spaghetti covering the ground. Yes, it was totally Flarfle Day, and Doffle the Neggfyrjukargle planned to eat the couches of every Danklestoffen in town.

Instead, he went to the Designated Frolicking Area and frolicked for a few hours. That's when it happened (or didn't happen - reports vary). Jenkins the Muzzlefro swears that a giant taco ate the livers of both ventriloquists that day, but, due to the lack of evidence, such a claim can obviously not be confirmed. I happen to know, however, that Jenkins wouldn't lie.

You see, Jenkins is a good person. He hates everything and everyone, including your mother. However, one day, a Giant Taco ate his family and threatened to digest them if Jenkins ever told a lie. In response, Jenkins cried, "My spleen is a river of hatred!" The taco almost interpreted this obvious (albeit slightly disgusting) metaphor to be, itself, a lie, and very nearly digested Jenkins' family. But then he, like, didn't. I forget why.

In any case, the ventriloquists' livers were eaten, and since Doffle happened to be three thousand feet away from the scene of the crime, the authorities naturally blamed his knapsack. Unfortunately, Doffle's knapsack was no ordinary knapsack. It was also a sponge. And, as everyone knows, sponges don't like to be messed with.

Thankfully, nobody melted in the resulting explosion, though twenty muffins were lost. It was a sad day for the muffin-eating populace. Everyone else was alright. Well, except for the woefully inept society of dung-eating Grogglestags, but that is a story for another time.

Meanwhile, Doffle's knapsack, henceforth referred to as the Dofflebag (See what I did there? Clever, eh?), was on the run, dragging Doffle behind. The authorities, however, were too bananaful to give chase, and instead enjoyed a nice, warm biscuit. The biscuit was soggy, and the authorities fought over it for months, a struggle that would later be known as the "Biscuit Wars." Twenty-two men would explode, five would melt, and three would just sort of disappear for some reason. Everyone else was tickled far beyond repair. It was, by all accounts, a massacre.

Sensing a disturbance, the Dofflebag stopped, only to realize that what it had sensed was, in fact, a Hypermole devouring the knapsack's armpit. This could not be helped, and so the Dofflebag trundled over to the nearest Blunderboulder and exploded all over it. Or maybe all around it. Near it, perhaps?

Well, it exploded in some position relative to the Blunderboulder. Doffle cried, for not only had he lost a Dofflebag in the explosion, he'd also lost a sponge. And his left arm. That kind of hurt.

The Toaster Oven Cycle

"Wobble!" Frank commanded of the toaster oven, which promptly obeyed. Frank smiled, for he had just bananafied his first applesauce cupcake. This was cause for celebration, with many horseshoes and tomatoes! Frank, the lonely Cactusaur, did dial the phones of his many friends, and all three even answered!

"You really did it?" questioned an unbelieving Flobblebob.

"You finally completed the task?" queried an amazed Hobblegeorge.

"Why is my toe bleeding?" mused a pained Flimbletoom.

Indeed, Flimbletoom's toe was bleeding, and it was at that moment that Frank cried, for he knew explodenation would soon follow. Then, he stopped crying. He knew what he had to do.

"Wobble onto toe!" Frank commanded of the toaster oven, which promptly obeyed. Frank smiled, for the toaster oven absorbed most of the explosion, causing Frank to lose only eighty-seven limbs, two toenails, three eyelids, five hairs, and a pet Hypermole.

The toaster oven, whose name was not Happy Happy Harry, was not quite so lucky. All of its toenails were blown clear off, and it would never, ever be the same again. Its wife left it and took their three children. It spent the rest of its days in a motel off the Super-Dimensional Magical Freeway-ma-bob, devouring fried carrots and pickles until the day he exploded for good, shortly after he was diagnosed with terminal Flummfideosis.

The toaster oven's doctor, Lorrrbletongsnat (Tong, for short), hated when he had to tell his patients that they were terminal Flummfideosis positive. Usually, his patients exploded when they heard the news. But some of them just got depressed and started knitting television sets out of Flobblebarf hairs. 'Twas a sad, sad sight, and Tong set out to stop it forevermore! He planned to seek out the source of the disease, then call it names until it blew up.

Tong arrived at Keckle Lake and looked into the water. A Flinglesnopp leaped out and bit his head off.

"Oh no!" Tong cried. "My head has been bitten off!" It was only several hours after that Tong regained the strength to once again set out to find the source of the disease of doom, destruction and destiny.

This, however, turned out to be a really stupid idea. Because Tong hadn't a head, he had no eyes and could not see where he was going. He wandered in exactly the wrong direction, and instead ended up at a rickety bridge over a dangerous, fast-moving river. A Zarbonoquid stood in front of it, guarding this bridge over troubled water.

"YOU MUST ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE--" started the Zarbonoquid, but he stopped short when Tong randomly walked right into the river, for he could not see it, for he had no head. Tong was carried off by the rapids, and was never seen again.

The Zarbonoquid sighed. Nobody ever let him finish his speech. HE thought it was pretty funny. Incidentally, the Zarbonoquid's name was was Stevenomonon. Stevenomonon had had enough of guarding that stupid bridge (No, really - it had an IQ of about 33! That was one DUMB bridge). Stevenomonon set out to find a new job elsewhere.

He wandered off until he reached the Designated Frolicking Area, where he did frolic and frolic about for a few minutes, when he was suddenly fined for frolicking over negative twenty-two miles-per-minute on a Thursday. He refused to pay the fine within point-two seconds, and thus was vaporized by a Plingtonvar named Thum.

Thum was a very troubled Plingtonvar, and wanted desperately to enslave a watermelon. However, whenever Thum found a watermelon, it always transformed into a Fiery Trenchcoat of Destiny (TM) and he was back to quadrilateral one.

But not this day. This day, Thum was going to enslave himself a watermelon, and nothing could stop him! NOTHING! Suddenly, something stopped him. He picked it up and examined it. It was a tiny statue of a hinge, and Thum decided that it would be his lucky charm from that day forward. He slipped it into his earlobe for safekeeping and continued on.

He traveled a great distance, and frolicked a great many times. And that was just to get out of his home. Then, the real journey began. He trundled onward (with the help of a friendly Trundletroll) to Keckle Lake. It was here that he found a watermelon.

"I MUST enslave that watermelon!" Thum told himself.

The Plingtonvar attacked the watermelon and tackled it to the ground. He finally had caught a watermelon, and was ready to enslave it, when suddenly, the watermelon touched the hinge statue, tucked away in Thum's earlobe.

"OH NO!!!" Thum cried as he transformed into a toaster oven.

Thum sat there in the grass for hours and hours, until he was finally brought home by a lonely Cactusaur, who had just bananafied his first applesauce cupcake.

"Wobble!" Frank commanded of the toaster oven, which promptly obeyed.

Blomba the Teersneck Hunter (Part One)

Blomba was a Teersneck Hunter. He hunted Flobbledobbs. Each morning, when the sun kinda sorta rose, he did shave his toenail and then set out in search of a Flobbledobb to hunt. Flobbledobbs are very bananaful, thus they evade capture about 105% of the time, but Blomba was determined to eat one - for, you see, a particularly bananaful Flobbledobb did devour his home and family when he was a wee Snarvle of the age of three. Blomba wanted revenge! Also, he was hungry - but mostly he wanted revenge.

The Designated Frolicking-Free Area was strangely deserted for Do Something Other Than Frolick Day, but Blomba lay in wait on the edge. He had a feeling, which, as it turns out, was mostly hunger, that he mistook for hunter's instinct, when really it was just his stomach screaming at his brain for yummy stuff. But Blomba was too stupid/hungry to distinguish between the two very different feelings, so it was no surprise when a Giant Taco very nearly took his head off as it crashed into the ground nearby. Blomba found himself caught in the middle of a Taco Storm!

After briefly wondering why he was even looking for himself, Blomba panicked. Then, he calmed down. Then, he panicked again, but this time, he panicked with a vengeance. His panicking was so swift and so furious, that he exploded. After fixing himself (minus his nose - it spontaneously combusted upon touching the ground) Blomba formulated a plan. It was a very bad plan, and resulted in Blomba losing two eyebrows and a fingernail, but he did escape the Giant Tacos' fury, so the Elder Hypermole gave him a thumbs-up and two pickles.

"What you do with these pickles is up to you, and only you," the Elder Hypermole told Blomba, "But if I were you, I would probably use them to vanquish a Flobbledobb. I mean, you don't have to, but I'm just saying that, you know, if you really wanted to, you probably could use these to--" But at this point, Blomba had already devoured both pickles, as well as the Elder Hypermole's fried chicken dinner and two of the Elder's toenails. The Elder, outraged at this display of bananafulness, had Blomba taken to the dungeon.

Blomba politely asked the guard escorting him to stop tickling him, but the guard kept going. Blomba made a mental note to blow up said guard's eyebrows when he got a chance. As the guard fumbled with the lock on the cell where Blomba was to be kept, the castle shook with great shookiness. The castle found itself caught in the middle of a Taco Storm! As the guard wondered why the castle was even looking for itself, Blomba did escape his tickly grasp. Blomba frolicked through the crumbling halls, a blatant show of disrespect towards the Elder Hypermole, who had come up with Do Something Other Than Frolick Day -- all by himself!

The exit was in sight and Blomba frolicked faster, but at that moment the floor underneath the Teersneck Hunter did explode, and Blomba did fall into the chasm left in its place. Further and further into the darkness Blomba did tumble, and though he did puncture several of his livers on the way down, there seemed to be no end in sight. Suddenly, the end was in sight! After puncturing only three more livers on the sharp rocks jutting out from the sides of the pit, Blomba went splat on the ground below.

**********

Meanwhile, far, far away, Frommklib did scheme bananafully. He scribbled furiously on a toenail at his desk as he thought, and still no plan seemed adequate enough to destroy Blomba the Teersneck Hunter. News of this Snarvle's bananafulness had already spread to the far ends of the kingdom, and Frommklib decided he was a problem. And Frommklib always took care of problems. But he'd need to call in some help for this one. Ripping off a fresh toenail, Frommklib began writing out a letter.

"Legendary Uym Grok,
I have a business proposal for you..."

**********

When Blomba came to, he could not feel his spleen. He also could not see a thing. Wherever the Snarvle was, it was as dark as a goat's liver. A really dark goat's liver. Like, pitch black. It was kind of creepy. Lighting his earlobe on fire for some light, the Teersneck Hunter did observe his surroundings. He appeared to be in some sort of cave underneath the castle. At least, that's where the sign on the wall said he was. Blomba had learned to never trust signs, for one once ate his ninja. That was a very yummy sign.

Regaining his bananafulness, Blomba devised a plan to escape the cavern. This plan involved two pigs, a tuna casserole, and eighty-five pounds of salted peanuts. Unfortunately, Blomba had none of these things. The Snarvle started to panic. He panicked with such force that the walls exploded. Light poured in through the holes where the walls once were, and Blomba did merrily frolic out of the cavern. Behind him, the Elder Hypermole's castle lay in ruins. The Teersneck Hunter did continue on ahead, when suddenly a very angry-looking Uym blocked his path.

"Blomba the Teersneck Hunter!" the Uym shouted. Blomba recognized him - it was the most famous Uym of all -- Legendary Uym Grok! Blomba collapsed to the ground, not able to believe that such a bananaful Uym would honor him with his presence. Upon awakening, Blomba did pester the Legendary Uym for an autograph. He quickly made plans to sell it on Ye Olde Ebay and make loads of money. "No, I will not give you an autograph!" shouted the Uym. "I was sent here to vanquish you, not to be the charming Uym that I am!"

But after further pestering, Blomba got the Legendary Uym to sign a magic harpsichord. It was very bananaful. The harpsichord, I mean. Well, I guess the autograph was bananaful too. Either one. Take your pick. "Now I shall slice you up into millions of tiny little pieces!" said the Uym. Blomba panicked. Then, he exploded. Then he panicked again, but this time as millions of tiny little pieces. Then, he pulled himself back together and panicked again. Grok lunged at the Teersneck Hunter with his trusty Uymsword, but was shoved back into a tree by what appeared to be an orange blur.

"Thank you, orange blur!" Blomba said.

"What are you, stupid?" said the orange blur, which then stopped moving and turned into a Piefox, "I'm a Piefox!" The Piefox then did devour the Legendary Uym Grok. Blomba nibbled on the Uym's toenail. It was quite bananaful. When the Snarvle and Piefox were done there, they returned to the Piefox's cave in the middle of the woods. It was there that the Piefox told the Teersneck Hunter his plan. He planned to steal all of the banana sandwiches in the Southern Banana Sandwich Supply, on the far edge of the kingdom, but he needed Blomba's help with gathering a force that could take on the Trundletrolls that guarded the Supply.

The Trundletroll listening outside relayed this back to his master, Frommklib.

--TO BE CONTINUED--

Glib Glob The Shinglejarb

Glib Glob decided to frolick, so he frolicked through the Designated Frolicking Area. Then he fell into Keckle Lake. He got all soaking wet and stuff, so he blew up. He pulled himself back together and said "Well, I frolicked right into Keckle Lake! I should really be more careful!"
The next day, a Giant Taco almost crashed into him. Glib Glob thought fast and jumped out of the way. Right into, ironically enough, a conveniently-placed taco meat grinder. After gluing himself back together, he decided to go out and destroy every banana sandwich ever made.
He was very successful. He then learned of the Western Banana Sandwich Supply, and swiftly rushed to the Western Banana Sandwich Supply to destroy the Western Banana Sandwich Supply's supply of banana sandwiches.
There, he found a Piefox. It looked very lonely. He decided to pet the lonely-looking Piefox.
Glib Glob then exploded.
It was a very bananaful explosion.
It tasted of cheddar.

Snibble The Florglekobb

Snibble, a very bananaful Florglekobb, decided to trundle over Keckle Lake. Unfortunately, it was not winter, and the lake was not frozen. So Snibble exploded. Then, Snibble un-exploded. Then, he tripped over a Stumblestone. Yes, for some reason, there was a Stumblestone in the middle of the un-frozen Keckle Lake.
Then, Snibble snibbed a snibbing snibb. It hurt his Big Toe of Destiny (tm).
Suddenly, somebody blew up. Then, Snibble realized that whoever was writing this story hated him. So, he yelled up into the sky, "Oh yeah!? Well, guess what, Mr. Writer Person! I hate you too!"
Insulted, I decided to give Snibble a pretty pink tutu and a cute ponytail.
"Not funny!" Snibble yelled into the sky.
Well, this was new to me! I, personally, had thought it was very funny. But I guess nobody else appreciates my sense of humor. So, I made Snibble's head blow up.
He didn't find it very funny.

Moobgleh The Dinglefuffel

Moobgleh wanted an Applesaurus Pie-tron for Wednesday, so he could toss it at a Hypermole. Instead, he ate it. It tasted of cabbage and marvelous things. He soon found himself in the Designated Frolicking Area, where he did devour Blongak, the Unfortunately Named Kigglet, who may or may not actually exist. Then, the lower half of his body began to frolick away from the rest of his body.
"Hey!" He cried. "Get back here or I shall devour a Newt of Destiny(tm)!"
This seemed to work, as the lower half of his body frolicked right back over. Unfortunately, a Giant Taco then crushed his lower body half, and Moobgleh began to weep.
Then, the Lonely Piefox devoured his eyeballs.
Moobgleh exploded.
The universe exploded.

Wendell The Whatever

Wendell is... Well, nobody really knows what Wendell is. Or who he is. Or what he looks like. Or how he smells. He likes to dig deep and bananaful holes in the west. The holes he digs are very deep and bananaful. People call him a 'Whatever'. He thinks it bananaful.
The Whatever named Wendell likes to eat Piefoxes. Especially lonely ones. One day, the Lonely Piefox wandered by. The Piefox hungered for banana sandwiches. Wendell lured the Piefox over with a sandwich of such bananafulness, and then threw a net around the Piefox.
He planned on a Piefox-feast that night, and dropped the Piefox next to a boiling pot of water. It was more like a cauldron. Anywho, three Giant Tacos crashed through the roof and fortunately, and fatally, crushed Wendell.
The Piefox escaped and, after venturing to the Western Banana Sandwich Supply, did feast upon banana sandwiches for twenty-three days and fifty-two afternoons before exploding from the deadly Giant Taco and Banana Sandwich combo. It was not pretty. It was handsome, though.

Klaggle Fraggle The Daggle Haggle

Klaggle Fraggle the Daggle Haggle decided to eat a taco, but she was too lazy to venture to a nearby House of Giant Tacos. So, instead, she decided to chew on some mud. She scooped up a bit of Poisonous Toilet Paper and shoved it in her mouth. Same thing, right? ... Right?
So, anyway, with Poisonous Toilet Paper now in her mouth, she had to find some water to wash it down with. She ventured to the nearby Cyanide River and took a drink of the water. Her stomach started growling. She was still hungry! Can you believe it?
Next, she decided to catch a rabbit and eat it. So, she scooped up more Poisonous Toilet Paper and shoved it in her mouth... Same thing, right?
Full and satisfied, she exploded.

Linglinop The Yummy Pingle

Linglinop was a Pingle. He was very yummy. I should know - I ate his toe.
Anyway, you may think being yummy is the best thing ever, but every day, Linglinop has to dodge forks and knives and Giant Tacos.
So, Linglinop set out to find the Wishing Toothbrush Fairy. At first, he found the Ugly Toothbrush Fairy.
"Ew!" he cried, upon seeing her, "Ugly!"
"Well, I'm sorry my toothbrush is so ugly, but I loves it!" she said. Then, she turned Linglinop into an even tastier Pingle. At that moment, a Hypermole ate his right arm.
Next, Linglinop found the Toothbrush Ugly Fairy.
"Ew!" He cried again. "So ugly!"
The Toothbrush Ugly Fairy turned him into a Blunderboulder, and Linglinop was never heard from again. But it's been rumored that he now tastes even better than when he was a Pingle... Somehow.

Fleckle The Dinwart

One day, a Fleckle named Dinwart... Or was it a Dinwart named Fleckle? Yes, a Dinwart named Fleckle. Well, Fleckle pickled a cow one day. It tasted of cheddar.
The cow's cheddar taste tasted of tender horseradish, and convinced Fleckle he could survive a Giant Taco attack.
He couldn't, as he found out a few nanoseconds later, when he was unfortunately and fatally flattened by a Mini Taco followed by a Giant Taco.
It was a deadly combo (Combo #3) and not many people could walk away from it alive.
The next day, a Dinwart named Fleckle... Or was it a Fleckle named Dinwart? Yes, a Fleckle named Dinwart. Well, Dinwart pickled a beehive by Keckle Lake. It tasted of cheddar.

Tiggle The Dimbledar

Tiggle sat by Keckle Lake, when some unseen force pushed him into the water. Keckle didn't see what it was.
Suddenly, a flaming ball of fire plunged the lake, then plunged into the lake. There was a clog, and nobody else had a big enough plunger. Anyway, it plunged into the lake. It must have been a very stupid ball of fire, though, because, when it went into the lake, it was put out. But not before alerting the Giant Tacos of Tiggle's current location.
The Giant Tacos decided not to go, though. They had just gotten home from a long day at work and just wanted to eat some dinner and sit in front of the television with a bag of chips for a few hours.
Tiggle rejoiced. Then, Tiggle melted, blew up, and had a Giant Taco crash into him.

Blarble The Sning

The Sning named Blarble did something the other day. Then, she did something the next day. But today, she did something else. Next Thursday, she'll eat a Blanglemelon. But three weeks ago, Blarble devoured a Hypermole. As everyone knows, this is not a smart move.
The Hypermole, with its last breath, called out to its brothers and sisters all over the world. Just about every single one of them, save for the deaf, bananaful Hyperelder, heard and came to its aid. Almost every single one of them fell off of a cliff (or two) on the way. A few of them even defied gravity and began to float out of the atmosphere. That's just how stupid they are.
The few that survived were a very crafty, intelligent group of Hypermoles. Unfortunately, they were still stupid, and started to attack each other. Blarble walked away from the battle unscathed. The entire Hypermole race, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. The remaining Hypermoles are very rare, very valuable, and very tasty.

Slummwern The Respectable Dingt

Slummwern placed a candle on the table, then melted. Then, the candle melted. The table then melted. Slummwern re-solidified and threw his hands up in the air. Then, he threw the hands attached to his arms in the air.
"Why did we have to get the Melt-o-matic brand table, candle, and body?" he asked. After asking, Slummwern melted again. This time, he dripped down a conveniently placed drain in the floor.
"Well, this is just great," he jokingly remarked.
"Well, this is just great," he seriously remarked, when he saw a Dumbleberry Fruitcake in front of him. Slummwern reached for the Dumbleberry treat, but could not hold onto it, for he was not a definite shape, and had just gotten out of bed.
Slummwern began to sob, for he was very hungry, and did not like being amorphous for long periods of time. The Tootlefairy felt sorry for him, and made him explode.

Legendary Uym Grok!

Grok, the legendary Uym, decided to buy a toaster oven, despite the recent ban on toasting on every other Monday night and Tuesday morning. He took his trusty Uymsword, just in case a giant taco tried to attack him.
Prepared for a confrontation and a toaster, Grok set out to make his purchase.
But he was not prepared for an autograph-wanting Trundletroll! As the Trundletroll, who, incidentally, was named Fred, advanced towards Grok, the legendary Uym could think of no option but to run. So, he exploded. Then, he pulled himself back together. Then, he ran.
"I must escape!" Grok said to himself, displaying disturbing symptoms of Schizophrenia. Fortunately, before this problem could escalate, Fred exploded. Then, a giant taco fell on his remains. The giant taco then exploded.
Victorious, Grok decided to buy a toaster oven, despite the recent ban on toasting on every other Monday night and Tuesday morning.

Gleib The Tingleterry

Gleib, a very bananaful Tingleterry, ventured to Bundlewood Forest one semi-gloomy evening. She accidentally tripped over a Blunderboulder (or was it a Tumblestone?) and hit her head. Kind of like Blongak, the unfortunately named Kigglet, who may or may not exist. Almost exactly like Blongak! Except I'm sure Gleib exists. I owe her ten bucks.
So, Gleib tripped over some sort of rock, and when she came to, she was in a very strange, magical place. Being bananaful, she decided to go look for something to destroy.
She found a House of Giant Tacos, and decided it would have to do. She threw a Jumblemelon at the restaurant, and laughed as it melted. Then, she suddenly ceased to exist. She must have been just too bananaful.
Shame.

Klengle The Tofuturtle

Klengle the Tofuturtle wanted desperately to make some friends. So, he hid out by Keckle lake and waited for a friendly looking Porktrod to walk by.
First, Dinkle the Porktrod, scourge of the Pickleberry Plum and devourer of the Hypermole, walked by. He carried a box of Crengleberry Cookies and a jar of tofu.
"I thought he blew up in his story," Klengle wondered aloud. Then, he wondered it silently.
At this point in the story, a giant taco unfortunately, and fatally, crushes Klengle.
Seeing a taco, Blongak, the unfortunately named Kigglet, who may or may not exist, ran up and began devouring the strangely out of place Mexican food. Then, he frolicked. He got fined for frolicking under 2 feet per hour on a Wednesday.

Jarbleclas The Bananaful Feffle

Jarbleclas was frolicking through the Designated Frolicking-Free Area, when suddenly...
Jarbleclas was frolicking through the Designated Frolicking Area, when suddenly, he exploded. Jemble the Tootletarp was close by and threw a clothespin at a piece of Jarbleclas, but missed. All of a sudden, the ground exploded, and Jarbleclas fell into the Deep, Dark Hole of Despair And Stuff. He very nearly banged his head on the wall, but instead, he exploded.
At the bottom, Jarbleclas went all SPLAT and stuff. He began to taste of cheddar.

Jenkle The Dangleblatt

Jenkle tootled a Hampertootle as he watched the Hypermole stupidly run into trees.
"Jenkle," the Hampertootle tootled, "What is that dumb thing doing?"
Continuing tootling, Jenkle replied, "Being a stupid Hypermole." Then, Jenkle tootled some more.
"Hey! Jenkle!" The Hypermole cried, suddenly realizing that somebody was tootling a Hampertootle. "Come here and let me hug you!"
"Oh, crud, she spotted us!" Jenkle tootled. Then, Jenkle exploded. Because, hey, who wouldn't rather explode than hug the Hypermole?

Blongak, The Unfortunately Named Kigglet

Blongak has a funny name. Isn't it funny? I thought it was.
This particularly unfortunately named Kigglet strolled through the Designated Frolicking Area. As he observed the frolicking frolickers frolicking, he began to frolic as well. Then, he tripped over a Blunderboulder.
I want to talk about tacos. I happen to enjoy a good taco... Don't you?
Taco taco taco, I want a chicken taco!
A taco taco taco, a tasty chicken taco!
Blongak likes tacos, too. That is why he began to eat a taco after tripping over that Blunderboulder. It was a Blunderboulder, wasn't it? It wasn't a Tumblestone, was it?
You know, I think it might have been a Tumblestone. Well, whichever it was, he tripped over it. At least, I think he tripped over it.
... You know, now that I think of it, I'm not entirely sure Blongak ever actually existed.
Got any tacos?

Karkle the Feathertootle

Karkle awoke and, upon seeing sunlight, exploded.
After pulling himself back together, Karkle frolicked through the Designated Frolicking Area, just south of Keckle Lake. He had to pay a fine for frolicking counter-clockwise on a Tuesday.
Finished frolicking, the Feathertootle ventured to the House of Giant Fish.
Karkle was unfortunately and fatally flattened by a West Sea Grapefruit Mackerel.

Dinkle The Porktrod

The fog thickened just in time for the Porktrod's arrival.
Dinkle, scourge of the Pickleberry Plum, slogged into the Bundlewood Forest for a snackle. The Porktrod snackled of Pickleberry Plums and did devour the Hypermole.
Then, the Trundletroll trundled out of its hiding place among the Great Oaken Bundlewoods, native only to the Bundlewood Forest and Keckle Lake. The Trundletroll pointed at Dinkle.
"I spy a Porktrod, I do!" Cried the Trundletroll. "Methinks I shall devour it!"
Dinkle was prepared for this, and exploded.
Want a Pickleberry Plum?

The Hypermole

The Hypermole, a tad bit bananaful, decided to lay an egg.
"Much fun shall have I!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, for she was an insane little idiot.
The Hypermole then sat upon the Nest of Destiny and waited for that egg-like thing.
Egg egg egg.
Egg egg egg.
Egg egg egg.
While sitting there, the Hypermole realized that "egg" sounds a lot like "try to fly." So the idiot ran off of a cliff.

The Lonely Piefox

One day, The Lonely Piefox, hungry for banana sandwiches, went west, where Wendell... Dug a hole. The hole was very deep and bananaful.
I like pie. Ever notice that? Do you like eggplants? I sure don't.
Eggplant eggplant eggplant eggplant eggplant.